Well, let me tell you the reason why we’re out on a Friday night, instead of our usual watch ABS-CBN soaps until it’s SNN time. I love buying vouchers, and spotting really good deals, and there was a time that I was super addicted to them. Most of my purchases are food-related, because I really, really love good food! As my voucher for Henry’s Place was expiring, we decided to march to Burgos Circle ( well, drive was more of the word. I’m trying to be dramatic. haha! ) to eat.

Goodness gracious. I can already curse myself for not neglecting to bring a good camera, as Henry’s Place had such good food, and presentation! I must admit that it was a bit overpriced and servings were not so big, but I stopped ranting the moment my teeth sinked in Henry’s Shantung Chicken. Oh.my.gosh. It was crispy, and and the sauce was wrapped around the crispy exterior, while the chicken meat inside was still bursting with flavor! Everyone loved the dish, but I was so sure that the night was far from over.

Did I tell you it was resto-hopping night? Oh wait, I didn’t! I actually brought some more vouchers with me just in case we would want to try another restaurant that night, as it’s a rare occasion that dad was free on a Friday night. So there, we cajoled dad to drive us to B&T Mexican Kitchen in Ortigas to try Mexican food, and take some home for mom and my sister whom I fondly call Burrito ( Strawberry. hahaha! )

I thought that B&T would be just like the upscale burrito place that I’ve tried and didn’t exactly feel like going back there. I took a leap of faith and ordered my regular beef burrito ( barbequoa, was that the name of the burrito? ) , and the owner recommended some Chipotle Pizza to us. Turns out that his recommendation was just plain brilliant as it was , I think, burrito wrapper that served as the pizza crust, loaded with so much chicken chunks and vegetables! You make a loud, crunchy sound as you start eating the pizza, and as the fillings play in your mouth, you will be delighted with the amazing infusion of flavors. Muy Mexican. Take my word for it!

Good thing that I have two more vouchers that I’ll definitely be going back to B&T Mexican Kitchen for a repeat ( and to my sisters’ glee, they will be coming along, too ), and will be definitely coming back for more. Next time I’m sure to bring a camera with SD card with me. Ahhh!

Tonight was just one of those nights that puts a smile on my face. It might be just one of those night-outs, but I loved the bonding that we had – my dad, just being carefree and not deep in thought with work, my sister Candy, who is just appreciating good food to add up to her epicurean taste, to cook up more delicious dishes, and my baby sisters whose pure happiness with being able to eat good food are apparent in their faces – just beaming, smiling, and joking around. It would definitely be a fond memory for all of us – and I wonder what versions my other siblings and dad would have of this night

In a heartbeat, I was warped into the world of sleepless nights wherein I just could not stop working, for it was the time of the year that I’ve been waiting for. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I loved the thrill, and I do love what I am doing, but this just happens all so suddenly once the ber months kick in. After my dancing on the thin wire act, I finally jump out of the game, jump back to my bed, and sleep happily ever after – well, at least, for a week. Though I would love to resurrect from the dead and just exert even a little bit, both my mind and my body create a rebellious duet that hinders me from doing any kind of work. I sink back to bed, crashing, wasting away in my voluntary exile, knowing only my bed, my laptop, and my HD with all the series that I planned to catch up with. Holiday favorites? Gotten obsessed with Modern Family ( cracked me up big time, I am slowly having that language sponge of me having Gloria’s accent whenever I try to be funny ), and Lie to Me ( oh, I just love looking at people! ).

It was only the latter part of the month wherein I truly felt that this was the month for festivities, as I had my mind focused on my list, and it was just great to breathe the air of the Holidays, with the chilly weather in Manila ( oh, finally ), spending some time with the boyfriend, seeing cheerful relatives, and most of all, cherishing my sister’s cooking. I swear, I would never trade my sister’s cooking for anything else in the world, she is just the best. Warmth came to me despite the chilly weather, with my family shedding off their hats, and just being a family, all together with our precious bonding moments. I consider myself to be the luckiest girl in the world having a family like the one I have now. I love my mom and dad to bits, as well as my siblings, with our good and bad times, weird, and funny moments, and even embarrassing ones. I was just so happy that I captured our Holiday memories in my new camera. I realized that photographs can never really capture that exact moment’s emotions running around, but they were enough to immortalize the moment, to evoke emotions and fond memories as keepsakes. Ahh, I will love my camera for a long time. I just hope that diligence would never leave me.

Now, all that I’ve told you about is just a memory, as the Holidays are waning off, it’s a bright, bright new year, and a great year ahead of us, and I can only smile on my whirlwind ber-months that just occurred. It’s still fresh in my mind, and fresh in my spirit, and as it wanes off as I move on to real-world stuff ( and not lazing around like what I’ve been doing this vacation ), I am much, much more energized physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will definitely look forward to whirlwind quarter of 2011!

Ahhh.. bazaar season is already over. I’ve had so many adventures that I can only babble about during the bazaar duration, but can hardly type in here from tiredness. But then, it’s all a memory now ( until next year, that is! ) and I’m sharing with you one of my prized bazaar finds this year – Chile Vitas.

Actually, Chile Vitas was a new brand last year as it had dips packaged in mineral water-like bottles sold for 120php at the World Trade Center for the Worldbex Bazaar, as I would pass by from time to time to get some taste test of their kropecks and dip them into their really yummy sauces. They had me at the word “chili” – it is absolutely my magic word as I am in love with spicy foods! ( to the point that I had GERD in my trip to Canada with eating too much spicy food – ahh! ). This year, Chile Vitas repackaged their products into bigger bottles, and looking more upscale with glass bottles – albeit, more expensive.

Ask me what I bought? I bought all these four bottles to take home and enjoy for the Holidays! Let me run through how each tastes like and how I like them :

Chile Pepper : Ahh. This is just plain heaven for spicy food lovers. A little bit sour, and definitely not just ” a little spicy.” – let’s just call it “moderately spicy.” It blends well to any dish and just makes it spicy without the interference in taste like a red-colored hotsauce would. It just blends well! I mixed this into my favorite kalderetang kambing dish awhile ago, and it just spiced up my life! No extra intruding flavor. I love it! This can be added to the other Chile Vitas variants to make them more diluted and spicier!

Chile Cheese : This is yummy as a dip for kropecks and fried food ( like chicken or even lumpiang shanghai! ) The cheese’s flavor is just mellow, and not too overpowering as it is more tomato-ey I’m okay-okay with this, not too sure on how to describe it, but this is pleasant in my book.

Chile Mustard : A favorite of many ( and I mean alot of people I know ), this is a pleasant blend of sweet, sweet diluted mustard, and adding some “spiciness” with the chili added! It’s not really spicy until you add the Chile Pepper in it ( and it becomes really spicy after doing so! ). Alot of people love this dip for kropecks, or just any chips ( but I doubt, that it’d blend well with chicharon. hahahaha! ). It makes a great salad dressing, too!

Chile Vinegar : This is Chile Vitas’ version of spiced vinegar. It’s really, really very sour, but not very spicy. For me, amongst all the special varieties, I can do without this as it comes in a steep 180 pesos per bottle. It’s really good, but not exceptional that would make me splurge almost 200 pesos for vinegar. I’d do so with pinakurat vinegars, but they only cost around 80.00 for a big bottle!

For those who are interested to get their hands on these fabulous dips and dish add-ons, visit their website to more about their products. I’m just so glad that I’m home right now, enjoying peace and quiet, ending my year quite nicely with my family, friends, and of course, food! The three f’s just restore my energy and set me at peace.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Ahhhh. Cebu was such a gastronomic heaven! It was my first time to go to Cebu for a vacation, and I came home with lots of new discoveries, and a very very happy tummy! There are so much great restaurants in Cebu, and let me name one in my post now – Kanyoen.

Kanyoen is a Yakiniku place in Cebu that has been well-recommended by locals, and my friends in Manila who have dined in there swear that it’s the best Yakiniku around. With my love for beef and yakiniku, I was more than game to try this food fare during my last night in Cebu, just before D and I were about to fly back to Manila, carrying with me a box of lechon. Haha!

I already forgot what kind of beef we ordered ( there were two kinds ), but the beef was just illegally tender ( mmmmm!!! ) as there was no chewy drag on the beef as you sink your teeth in it. It was an effortless bite as it was really tender, and the flavor was really bursting on my mouth – a mix of the barbequed taste, as well as the very, very rich marinade. Love it! The chicken was also very, very tender and delicious, and the mushrooms really balanced the meal with some “non-meat” add-ons.

By the way, back-tracking on our appetizer, we were served with kimchi. By far, this has absolutely got to be the spiciest and most delicious kimchi that I’ve ever tasted, that I could not stop from getting more, and more of it! I even poured the red sauce from the kimchi to my saucebowl to dip my barbequed meat with, as I am a lover of spicy food.

Okay, I am shivering, and my fingers are shaking as I am typing this, as I am telling you, I have tasted the most heavenly yakiniku ever, in Kanyoen. No match to those in Manila, I swear!

That’s gotta be one reason to go back to Cebu. Love, love Cebu!

Contact details :
Phone: +63(32)2322989
Villa Aurora Mabolocastle Peak Hotel Bldg F Cabahug Cebu City Cebu

Roughly a month ago, the precious white bag ( in coated canvas ) that I have bought for myself for a birthday gift was stained by color transfer from my purple dress. It was heartbreaking, as I tried everything, from using my organic cleansers, to Ariel Oxybleach, and even toothpaste! I resorted to borrowing my dad’s upholstery cleaner as well, and that made some difference and lightened the stain. But still, the stain wasn’t completely gone. I’ve googled to find something that would save my bag, and I’ve stumbled into a popular product recommendation : Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser.

It is an imported product that can only be bought in True Value stores, and much to my regret, it’s only after a few weeks that I was able to get one for me. I was surprised with the price – almost three hundred bucks for two pads. Alas! what an expensive cleanser this is! So I took a leap of faith and bought the Extra Power one, hoping that it could remove the color stain on my precious bag (thinking in hindsight, I should never ever get anything white for me, ever again, much more, a designer bag! ahh! )

On a Sunday afternoon, I’ve spent a good one hour trying to make Mr. Clean Magic Eraser work on my bag. Opening the box, it contains two foams with concentrated Mr. Clean cleanser on them ( maybe some secret powerful formulation, haha! ). See the texture of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? The textured surface is meant to penetrate and clean through dirt in textured surfaces, as well. Following what I’ve read from posts online, I cut out some mini-cubes of Mr. Clean, let the mini-foam get drenched in running water, and squeezed them. Then, I started scrubbing.

After one hour, I did notice that the stain had lightened, but it did not disappear completely. Oh well. I should have really taken time to go to the mall to buy myself a box of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser a few weeks ago. Now, the stain’s almost permanent. Sob. Good thing that it’s at the back, and it’s not so noticeable anymore. I tried. I really did.

BUT then – I also remembered Mr. Clean Magic Eraser being a miracle worker, as I’ve read from the online forums. I’ve mistaken them in the past for just simply rubber erasers being bought from National Bookstore, and this is definitely different, looking at them now! So, seeking not to waste my 300 bucks purchase of Mr. Clean, I decided to cut more mini-cubes to clean my grimy Macbook.

My Macbook is almost 4 years old, almost as old as my beauty blogging life. As I am telling you, I am not good with whites, though I adore the color white as white things just look so feminine and dainty. Owning something white, and maintaining it beautifully white will just prove and make you look like you take good care of your things, and I’m afraid that I’ve been such a failure in that department, no matter how hard I try. I regret that I was not able to take a picture of my grimy and dirty Macbook, but resurrecting it, by cleaning it with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser proved very fulfilling, and really surprised me as I was able to see my Macbook squeaky clean again! So clean on the cover, that it shines! Haha! I’m serious! Even with scratches, the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser penetrated through the scratches to clean and really make my Macbook white again!

Bottomline – I wasn’t able to save my designer bag ( boohooo ), but I was able to make my Macbook look like new again. Fair enough. We all have our days. Hehe.

Now, lunch time is very much over, but the food we had are really, really haunting me, wanting me to go back there and indulge and relive my dining experience there!

The menu of Hossein’s was just something I’d call a “wild overload” as there were so much to choose from! This would be great if you’re dining as a group, to be able to try alot of varieties from their menu, but if you’re only two, you need to choose carefully, as the prices aren’t cheap as well.

On the picture above is Homos, our appetizer. It’s described by Munchpunch as “Traditional Arabic appetizer of pureed garbanzos with tahina paste topped with extra virgin olive oil, comes with one piece of nan”. It tasted like a garbanzo paste. It was light, and a great way to start the meal.

For our main course, we had Bulgari Kebab, since we could not decide between beef, lamb, and chicken for our kebab dish to share. It is described in Munchpunch as, “A medley of tenderloin, chicken and vegetables marinated in a special Persian sauce, skewered and charbroiled” Oh my goodness. This is by far, the best kebab I’ve ever tried in my entire life! It really helped that they were charbroiled, that they turned out really tender, but bursting with so much flavor! If you hate beef that hardens with cooking, then this one’s for you. The beef here is absolutely tender, and a joy to eat. The beef came out very tender, and I believe that this is beef cooked in perfection. I’m in love! The chicken was also charbroiled into perfection, being all tender, really juicy, and with so much flavor in it! This dish made my day!

Lamb with Masala was really, really good, pairing it with the Saffron Rice we ordered. The lamb was really soft, and melts-in-your mouth, the spiciness just okay, and the curry really, really light, considering it is an Indian dish. Very, very delicious!

After such a very flavorful Persian lunch, my tastebuds were wanting something refreshing to wash off the potent flavor, and move on with some fruit juice. It’s great to grab coffee or drinks after such a flavorful meal, with so much potent and strong flavors in your mouth.

Oh, right now I am setting a date with M to dare him to try Persian cuisine again, as he was not impressed, and apparently “stomached” Mr. Kabab for me. I promised him it was really good, and good thing he agreed as I am excited to make him change his mind about Persian food.

Oh, Hossein’s, I would definitely go back for more!

As of late, I have been enchanted with Neil Gaiman’s novels. Oh, how regretful I must be right now for not giving his books some attention, that Stardust has been sitting in my library for so long already! After reading Fragile Things,( review, to follow ) I have decided to scourge Powerbooks for more Neil Gaiman books, and I got myself The Graveyard Book.

The Graveyard Book has a very interesting plot, that it starts with a family being massacred on a grim night, with one sole survivor, a little baby, who, by destiny, stumbles ( yes, stumbles! ) into the graveyard as it becomes his new abode, to grow up with ghosts, and elements of the graveyard. A little weird, isn’t it? I felt that it was somewhat belonged to the same genre as Harry Potter, weaving fantasies, and playing with the mind. Oh, how my mind enjoyed wandering in the realm of imagination while reading this. I very much enjoyed reading Nobody’s ( yes, this is the protagonist’s name! ) adventures, walking in the world of the living, and the dead, being able to have the “right of the graveyard.”

Aside from being inspired, and enchanted by Neil Gaiman‘s imaginations that runs as far as we cannot fathom how he gets his ideas, The Graveyard Book also gives us another perception about death. Reading the book, it made me cherish life even more, because with death, everything is permanent and you can’t change things anymore. We only get one shot in this life, as long as we are breathing, we can make things happen, live our dreams, as the world is for our taking. With death, it is the end, and even as we wander the world after our passing, we can only be shadows of our past.

I myself am not a great fan of death, as I honestly fear it. At this age, I am still not yet ready to face it, or be faced with a situation of a loved one passing a way, which would really crush my soul. But reading this book, just imagine a boy who grew up in a graveyard surrounded by the dead, without any fear of death, as he has seen death amongst his peers there? What would happen, if I close my eyes, and they never get to open again? Where would I go? Would I just reunite, as a force, a part of the universe? Is there really heaven and hell? Are we just a part of nature’s love story? Too much questions, and there is no way to answer that – no one ever got it right, at least while he is still living.

This book is good to be read by the youngsters, and those young at heart like me. ( haha! ) I am definitely happy to have read this book as it gave me a lasting impression on death, and even love.

I must admit, I am so not a morning person.

I think it’s been only twice or thrice this year that my eyes have seen the sun rise, as I really have a problem waking up early in the morning.

But then, with my little sister Suzzane’s graduation with a call time as early as 7 am ( yes, in full makeup already! ), who am I to say no, wherein she has never said no to me for all the things I’ve asked from her?

For years, she’s been doing the graphics for my numerous business and blog projects, taken really nice product shots for my beauty product reviews in my blog, and even sacrificed her free days from school to help me sell in my booth during bazaars. With such a kind, helpful, and sweet sister, I woke up crazy early, risked my cranky morning mood to do my full makeup, eat breakfast ( I don’t really eat breakfast! haha! ) , and of course, do her makeup for her big day. After all, it’s such a huge milestone for her that she’s finally done with college! Woot!

My sister Suzzane is now armed with a degree in Multimedia Arts from the College of Saint Benilde, as all her hard work in studying photography, and sleepless nights finishing 3d animations all were worth it, that day. I can see how proud my dad is of her, that she’s made it, and now, we’re three girls who have finished college already.

I, on the other hand, could not help but be happy and proud of my beaming dad, and my mom, who supportively stayed at home to manage the household, for I have really seen them work so hard for the longest time – enduring hardships and challenges, and countless overtimes just to send us all to school. I believe that the greatest gift of parents to their kids is education, that is far more precious than any material thing in this world, as it is to arm children with the know-how and how to survive, as they make their own way in the world, one day. I am very thankful that my parents are so hardworking, and care for us that much that they have guided us from when we were still kids, until now, that we’re facing the real world, as well as Suzzane, a newbie to the real world. I bet she’d do well.

With my dad beaming, and looking through the crowds of students to look for my sister, I was just so happy for him, and happy for our family. We already have an in-house Graphic Designer in our Printing business! Haha!

Anyways, let me share what we ate for our quick lunch before going back to the office. Suzzane wanted something delicious, but not too expensive as the family would be celebrating the following day, so we stopped over at Emerald Garden in Roxas Blvd. for a honest to goodness Chinese lunch.

Emerald Garden is one of those really popular Chinese restaurants, that we frequent because it is the usual venue for receptions of birthdays, baptismals, weddings, or even wedding anniversaries. They serve really delicious Chinese food! My mouth was salivating while reading their menu, but being mindful that we were only three, we also kept our ordering to three dishes :

Steamed Shrimps, or Sua-he. Oh god. When really fresh, this is really, really good! The shrimps are indeed fresh as they are caught fresh from their aquarium, and I was surprised larger than normal shrimps as I was used to small-sized ones. They tasted fresh, sweet, and succulent. I love dipping this in soy sauce!

Tausi Fish Fillet. Deep fried fish fillet, then sauteed with tausi sauce. I really love how they prepared this dish – the fish fillet was very tender, and as you sink your teeth in it, you’ll just luxuriate in its distinct flavor – nothing too salty, I thought it was a little bit sweet! It had a unique flavor that I don’t get to taste in other resto’s. I love this!

Yes, that’s all we had for our quick lunch! With that, I am really excited in coming back to Emerald Garden with my entire family for a bigger feast. Oh, Chinese food is just my all-time favorite cuisine, and I will definitely never tire of it. It runs in my blood!

I wasn’t really excited about my birthday. Adding a year to my age doesn’t appeal to me, as I am quite obsessed with freezing and stalling time. Well, it’s just me.

But then, let me tell you about my day!

M counted down my birthday with me, as of course, that sort of cheered me up. I woke up with greetings, and more greetings came in.

My baby sister S smsed me something that would have really annoyed me, a jejemon birthday message, that I know she took so much effort to make me really annoyed and laugh. Mind you, she’s not a jejemon. She just pretends to be one to annoy me. Haha!

Whenever a family member’s birthday would fall on a weekday, all of us would be tired from work, and school that we don’t really want to eat out anymore. My birthday fell on a Monday, and we were supposed to eat out a day before, which was Sunday, to celebrate Father’s Day as well, but unforseen events occurred that hindered that celebration.

But I think, it was more of a blessing.

My dad heard me wanting to get a birthday cake from Carla & Elaine , and was willing to get me one even if we lived in Quezon City ( very sweet of him ) , but Geiser Maclang went ahead and sent me a very delicious, moist chocolate cake from Purple Oven.

As the bearer of special privileges for the day ( pa!!! Can I take time off work! NOT, I didn’t dare ask him that! ) , I was being asked what takeout I’d like for dinner. Normal choices were Causeway, Wah Yuan ( new name would be Mandarin Sky ), Hap Chan, or any food from the Banawe restaurants. My tastebuds didn’t feel like eating Chinese food, and even the thought of restaurant food didn’t appeal to me. I looked deeper in me, looking for something raw, and satisfying. No pretensions, no fancyschmancy. Somehow, I’ve been inspired by Anthony Boudain’s episode about Philippine cuisine that I decided – I want Filipino food! Really exotic ones!

So, I know it’s weird for a birthday, but here’s what I asked my dad to buy for dinner,

In Banawe, it’s not only fastfoods, Chinese, Asian and Western restaurants that reign. In the heart of Banawe, there is a karinderia ( a small informal restaurant ) called Fernando’s that is very popular because of their kambing ( goat ) dishes. I had my dad go down and buy food there as there were so much men on tables drinking as early as lunch time there. But really, I’ve loved eating goat meat as a kid because I had asthma, and they kept on feeding me kalderetang kambing for they said it was good and helped alleviate asthma.

Okay, so after 5 minutes, my dad goes back to the car, with a plastic bag. He was able to order 3 orders of Kalderetang Kambing, and a surprise, 1 order of Kilawing Kambing. I was just so happy!

After fetching the kids from school, I was also delighted that they were sweet enough to give me birthday presents – a tall cup of milk tea from Teablends, near their school! It was just very sweet, and somehow made me very happy. These cute little kids wouldn’t be kiddies for long, and sometimes, I just wish that they’d be like that forever.

On our way home, I asked dad to stop by Elarz Lechon, and mom and I went down to get lechon. Yep, the final addition to my Filipino Birthday pigout. Done!

I was so excited with dinner, that we dined right away, after heating the food!

Lechon, in all its juicy goodness. Soft, easy to chew, with salty lechon accompanied with its sweet lechon sauce. Oh, we don’t eat this often but my birthday was a pleasant and gratifying exception!

Kalderetang Kambing, all tender, and perfectly cooked, with its innate saltiness and perfect flavor, and everyone agreed that they tasted bagoong here. Very smart! One thing I didn’t like about it? Not enough spiciness. But still, this was the dish of the night!

Kilawing Kambing is all about goat’s skin and laman loob. Mixed with chopped ginger ( not too much, I’m glad ) and perhaps some onions, putting two teaspoonfuls of Pinakurat Vinegar ( not just ANY vinegar, but Pinakurat Vinegar! it’s the best! ) made this just mouth watering and a gratifying eat.

Candy’s dish for the night was callos ( ox tripe in tomato sauce). It looked so plain in the bowl, so I chose to “food style” it quickly ( sorry, I know it’s still a mess! ) , not getting over from Mark Floro’s seminar last weekend. Haha! I swear I’m going to take up food styling and food photography one day! Anyway, this was pleasantly sweet, and with the chewy ox tripe, I was just so happy with my birthday dinner!

I know, I know, you’d be expecting us to be drinking beer and be all merry as all these dishes are dubbed as “pulutan” ( accompaniment to alcoholic drinks ), but we didn’t have any. We just had pineapple juice. I’m not ashamed of my birthday feast, no matter how cowboy-ish and simple they are, for I know, my family enjoyed the dinner, as dad claims that he hasn’t had this kind of dinner for so long, and agrees that we don’t, and cannot eat this on an everyday basis!

One more thing that made me happy, was that I saw my family, all complete, dining together in our humble dining table, in our pambahays, all being chatty, and smiling, enjoying the food. How I missed this. Last year, I wasn’t able to celebrate my birthday at home. Maybe it’s because of that that’s why I feel so fulfilled with my humble birthday dinner. I looked more into our family bonding, more than anything else, because it’s God’s gift for all of us this lifetime.

And yes, we sang Happy Birthday inside the bedroom, all together.

What can I say, I’m such a lucky girl.

Today was a busy day with my sisters going to school inspire of being a Sunday for Family day, and riding along my dad’s car to bring my sister to school, and bringing ama to Church. Amongst all of that, we haven’t forgotten.

It’s been more than ten years, and the memories of you are still very fresh in my mind. They will forever be etched in my mind as the most wonderful memories of my childhood, for you made me quite a happy kid.

I remember you being the doting grandpa to us, playing with us, and being most generous with your smiles, and hearty chuckles. You were a happy grandpa. We loved you so much. I love you so much. I would remember us, walking hand in hand walking around Binondo, being happy and contented just with our company. Even until now, whenever I see an old man and a little girl holding hands crossing the street, tears would well up in my eyes remembering you, angkong.

I distinctly remember, when we were in Shopper’s Mart, and the small me asking you to buy me a strip of Jelly Ace, and you , holding out your wallet, unfolding it, and seeing the last 20 peso bill in your wallet, you took it out, and bought me my Jelly Ace. That was very big of you, angkong. When we got home in your Binondo residence, we got a few sermons from a-ma for spending too much on me. But then, I knew you were happy making me happy.

I remember that one quiet night, when you were waiting with me for dad to come, and fetch us to move to our new home. We were separated, but we kept on coming back to your Binondo home as we had our swimming lessons near there.

When you got sick, I think I was having lunch with my classmates, strolling the ground floor of our school, being introduced, and learning for the first time what the term “comatose” meant and “ICU.” I did not understand the gravity of the situation, as I was not allowed to visit you in the hospital. My last memory of you before your passing, was of you, on a rocking chair, laughing, with your heartiest chuckle, that made me smile. You said goodbye, as I said goodbye.

It was the morning that I was supposed to be all jolly for my Christmas party at school. My yaya told me that I didn’t need to wake up that day because you were gone. I was frozen. It took me a while to understand, as I opened the doors to my parents’ room, seeing my dad sitting at the foot of the bed, with his hands on his forehead, not crying, but looking very much upset and devastated, as he saw me and set me beside him, saying ” wala na si angkong.” I couldn’t feel a thing that time. I was frozen, and in total disbelief.

You were my dad’s bestfriend. My dad just looked up to you and loved you so much. You were his strength, his support, and his biggest fan. You encouraged him through and through about having a business of his own. I know, financial resources were not so much before, but your love and support were more than enough to keep my dad going, until now. Do you know, angkong, that until now, my dad still thinks about you, and talks to you everyday? I hope you can feel it. He misses you so much. Until now, he relies on you to give him strength. Giving him your selfless love as a parent is such an inspiration to me, that it deeply touches me how much a parent can love a child. It inspires me to be a better parent in the future, but more importantly, be a better child to my mom and dad, as I know that time is fleeting, and we must make the most out of our time here on earth.

I feel for my younger siblings who weren’t able to meet you, Angkong. I just know, that if they had the chance to be with you, that you’d love them, as they would love you so much, too. I always tell them about you, and our wonderful adventures, Angkong.

I only started really pouring my heart out in tears ten years after your passing, and it continues until now. I haven’t stopped grieving for your loss, for you made me feel pure love from a grandparent. That love that you gave me is so much, that it would last a lifetime, as I will never forget. I can still feel it, until now, and I hope that somehow, someway, the wind can take my thoughts and my letter to where you are. I know that you are in a good place, but I know that you can still see us. I miss you, Angkong.

I love you, Angkong. I might not see you soon, but we will be reunited, as a little girl and a grandparent holding hands one day, just enjoying an endless stroll of pure love.