Uncertainty. Loss. Imbalance.

This season has got alot of people experiencing grief, at varying degrees.

We experience grief – a sense of losing someone, or even something. Some have lost people whom they loved rather abruptly this season. Some have lost their source of income. Some have lost their dreams and hope. Some have lost their balance. Some have lost their sense of security. Fill in the blanks. Somewhere, somehow, the abrupt change in circumstances made us lose something. It can be physical and it can be more subtle and abstract, that you can’t quite put your finger in why you are feeling such. Even at that, you can’t deny that you’re in that place.

In this season of grieving, it is also a season of understanding. Here are some things that I realized about grief :

* I realize it’s okay to grieve. It’s something that we undergo. I validate and honor what I feel, and I try to understand and listen to my body. I need not beat myself up and tell myself, “snap out of it!” or that it’s about having a lack of faith. It’s not. The people of Judah lamented when their temple was destroyed and they were sent to exile in Babylon. The Psalms, in the middle of of the book, we see the Psalmist being disoriented. Jesus grieved when his friend died.

* Grief has made me realize that we are truly not in control. Control is truly, merely an illusion. It made me realize that every good thing comes from above, and it was never really up to me to have made anything happen. It wasn’t all about my persistence, will, and desire to control the outcome. When good things come my way, I can’t really say that I deserved it or I earned it. Maybe I just thought myself better than the real estimate. Grieving made me realize that every good thing is given to us as grace by God because He gives good gifts to His children. At a moment of loss, may I never take for granted what God lavishly provides for me and pass it off as products of my own doing.

* It made me realize that even if we experience that loss, we still have beautiful memories before us. It helps me be grateful, and see everything as a grace of God. In the midst of regrets that have us thinking, “I should have done this,” “I should have met her before this happened,” or “I should have said sorry,” we give them to God in our pain, and let God comfort me and grow through this, This takes my prayer to God seriously, “Lord, help me number my days so that I can have a heart of wisdom.”

* In losing some things in my life, it made me realize that there are some losses in which I realize that I once held tight to things that didn’t really matter. The pain of such loss reminds me that I’ve held that grip too much. It gives me a fresh new clarity in my priorities, hoping that when I step on certain ground again, I may not forget this priceless lesson.

* Grief made me realize that it is just for a season and it doesn’t last forever. This allows me to be patient with myself, as God is patient with me, too. There are some questions that we don’t know the answers of, but I know in my heart that He is good. I continue to trust and cling on to God’s promise that weeping may come in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

* This also made me understand that this world is not our home. This world is fallen, and it will never satisfy our hearts for what it expects us to give. Nothing is perfect in this world. Which brings me to my next point…

* Grief makes me realize that yes, there is death, but after death comes life. I am blessed with a beautiful faith that doesn’t end with death. 2,000 years ago, the Lord Jesus Christ took all of mankind’s sins upon Himself and He was crucified at the Cross. He died and was buried in a tomb. But the story didn’t end there. On the third day, He conquered death. I have this living hope inside of me that for every death comes a promise of life for those who believe in Him, for John 3:16 clearly states that,

“For God so loved the world that He gave up His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish and have eternal life.”

This is my blessed hope.

Hope will always be alive in my heart only because Jesus lives.

* Grieving made me understand that I can choose to be stay in my grief alone and descend the abyss of desolation, or I can make this experience a sacred place of encounter with the Lord. It is always good to direct every question and emotion to God. In our pain, our God, with His comfort and love, slowly tends to our hearts and heal it. He promises that thru thick and thin we face things together, and this strengthens our relationship that goes through the depths of my pain, that I encounter the depths of His unending mercy there. It becomes a beautiful place of encounter, a Holy Ground.

* Grieving made me realize that I’m not alone. God is with me in this, as He promises to be ever so close to the broken-hearted. There are also others who are grieving, some in denial, and some just needing someone to sit with them during this season, albeit virtually, as we observe social distancing, but not necessarily spiritual distancing. As the Holy Spirit, the Comforter places His peace on me, I am encouraged to also share His light to other people and offer myself as a place of rest, and giving them a space to grieve and leading them to the arms of the Father in the process. Experiencing grief myself makes me not turn a blind eye to the suffering I see around me, and allows me to be more sensitive to the people who are grieving, too, at varying degrees. Jesus Christ was one with us in our suffering, therefore we can be there for our brothers and sisters, and be that channel of love of God during this time.

Let God meet you in your grief. It doesn’t have to end there. He promises life to who those who believe in Him, and He promises life after death to whom who surrender their lives to Him.

Lord, I thank you that even in my grief, you promise life.
I thank you that I am not alone in this, as You are with me.
I invite You to my heart and I want to have a relationship with You.
I ask for Your forgiveness when I have grieved your heart,
and I thank You for Your mercy and Your heart of love that forgives me.
Lead me, guide me in this life.
I can’t walk in this life alone. I need You by my side.
You are my Lord, my Savior, and my closest friend.
In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

*Photo by Tom Swinnen from Pexels